What Is True Love?

Welcome back, everyone!

And to those just arriving... Welcome!

Today's blog topic follows the previous post discussing why true love is hard to find. In recap, foretold, our day, the "last days" when the "love of the greater number will cool off."

Does this mean for everyone?

By no means! ... We all can make choices due to God's gift of 'free-will'. So to love or not, is a personal decision.

But it's difficult to decide for something when we are not sure what it is or how to display it, right?

So, today's post will explain four types of love mentioned in an ancient book--The Bible. The book from which many of our famous poetry and plays are extracted.

To begin,

Do you not agree with this definition of love: a feeling of warm personal attachment or deep affection, as for a friend, for a parent or child, and so forth; warm fondness or liking for another?

We see it in the eyes, or in gestures; the gentle smiles or similar responses returned by a touch, soft word or when reading a letter from a beloved one. We even see in the adoring gazes of devotion from pets.

It is also the benevolent affection of God for his creatures or the reverent affection due from them to God. And don't exclude, the kindly affection properly expressed by God’s creatures toward one another; that strong or passionate affection for a person of the opposite sex causing them to want to connect mentally and/or physically.

Yet, the Scriptures speak also of love guided by principle, as love of righteousness or even love for one’s enemies, for whom a person may not have affection. This facet or expression of love is an unselfish devotion to righteousness and a sincere concern for the lasting welfare of others, along with an active expression of this for their good.

The verb ʼa·hevʹ or ʼa·havʹ (“love”) and the noun ʼa·havahʹ (“love”) are the words primarily used in Hebrew to denote love in the foregoing senses, the context determining the sense and degree meant.
The Christian Greek Scriptures mainly employ forms of the words a·gaʹpe, phi·liʹa, and two words drawn from stor·geʹ (eʹros, love between the sexes, not being used). A·gaʹpe appears more frequently than the other terms.

Of the noun a·gaʹpe and the verb a·ga·paʹo, Vine’s Expository Dictionary of Old and New Testament Words says: “Love can be known only from the actions it prompts. God’s love is seen in the gift of His Son, I John 4:9, 10. But obviously this is not the love of complacency, or affection, that is, it was not drawn out by any excellency in its objects, Rom. 5:8. It was an exercise of the Divine will in deliberate choice, made without assignable cause save that which lies in the nature of God Himself, cp. Deut. 7:7, 8.”—1981, Vol. 3, p. 21.

Regarding the verb phi·leʹo, Vine comments: “It is to be distinguished from agapao in this, that phileo more nearly represents tender affection.... Again, to love (phileo) life, from an undue desire to preserve it, forgetful of the real object of living, meets with the Lord’s reproof, John 12:25. On the contrary, to love life (agapao) as used in I Pet. 3:10, is to consult the true interests of living. Here the word phileo would be quite inappropriate.”—Vol. 3, pp. 21, 22.

James Strong’s Exhaustive Concordance of the Bible, in its Greek dictionary (1890, pp. 75, 76), remarks under phi·leʹo: “To be a friend to (fond of an individual or an object), i.e. have affection for (denoting personal attachment, as a matter of sentiment or feeling; while a·ga·paʹo is wider, embracing espec. the judgment and the deliberate assent of the will as a matter of principle, duty and propriety... ).”

A·gaʹpe, therefore, carries the meaning of love guided, or governed, by principle. It may or may not include affection and fondness. That a·gaʹpe may include affection and warmth is evident in many passages. At John 3:35, Jesus said: “The Father loves a·ga·paiʹ the Son.” At John 5:20, he said: “The Father has affection for phi·leiʹ the Son.” Certainly God’s love for Jesus Christ is coupled with much affection. Also Jesus explained: “He that loves a·ga·ponʹ me will be loved a·ga·pe·theʹse·tai by my Father, and I will love a·ga·peʹso him.” Joh 14:21 This love of the Father and of the Son is accompanied by tender affection for such loving persons. Jehovah’s worshipers must love him and his Son, as well as one another, in the same way. Joh 21:15-17.

So, although distinguished by respect for principle, a·gaʹpe is not unfeeling; otherwise it would not differ from cold justice. But it is not ruled by feeling or sentiment; it never ignores principle. Christians rightly show a·gaʹpe toward others for whom they may feel no affection or fondness, doing so for the welfare of those persons. Ga 6:10.

Yet, though not feeling affection, they do feel compassion and sincere concern for such fellow humans, to the limits and in the way that righteous principles allow and direct.

However, while a·gaʹpe refers to love governed by principle, there are good and bad principles. A wrong kind of a·gaʹpe could be expressed, guided by bad principles.

For example, Jesus said: “If you love a·ga·paʹte those loving you, of what credit is it to you? For even the sinners love those loving them. And if you do good to those doing good to you, really of what credit is it to you? Even the sinners do the same. Also, if you lend without interest to those from whom you hope to receive, of what credit is it to you? Even sinners lend without interest to sinners that they may get back as much.” Lu 6:32-34.

The principle upon which such ones operate is: ‘Do good to me and I will do good to you.’... Not true love.

The apostle Paul said of one who had worked alongside him: “Demas has forsaken me because he loved a·ga·peʹsas the present system of things.” 2Ti 4:10. Demas apparently loved the world on the principle that love of it will bring material benefits. Jesus says: “Men have loved e·gaʹpe·san the darkness rather than the light, for their works were wicked. For he that practices vile things hates the light and does not come to the light, in order that his works may not be reproved.” Joh 3:19, 20.

Because it is a truth or principle that darkness helps cover their wicked deeds, they love it.

Jesus commanded: “Love a·ga·paʹte your enemies.” Mt 5:44. God himself established the principle, as the apostle Paul states: “God recommends his own love a·gaʹpen to us in that, while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us.... For if, when we were enemies, we became reconciled to God through the death of his Son, much more, now that we have become reconciled, we shall be saved by his life.” Ro 5:8-10. An outstanding instance of such love is God’s dealing with Saul of Tarsus, who became the apostle Paul. Ac 9:1-16; 1Ti 1:15.

Loving our enemies, therefore, should be governed by the principle established by God and should be exercised in obedience to his commandments, whether or not such love is accompanied by any warmth or affection.

So, let's review.

The ancient Greeks had four basic words, used in various forms, to describe love: a·gaʹpe, phi·liʹa, stor·geʹ, and eʹros. Of these, a·gaʹpe is the term used to describe the God who “is love.”

Concerning this love, Professor William Barclay in his New Testament Words says: “Agapē has to do with the mind: it is not simply an emotion which rises unbidden in our hearts; it is a principle by which we deliberately live. Agapē has supremely to do with the will.” In this context, a·gaʹpe is love that is governed, or guided, by principle, but it is often accompanied by strong emotion. As there are good and bad principles, it is evident that Christians should be guided by good principles, which are laid down in the Bible by Jehovah God himself.

Stor·geʹ was the Greek word often used to refer to the natural affection that exists between members of the same family.

Christians strive to show love to members of their family.

Although, as mentioned in the last post, Paul prophesied that in the last days, people in general would have “no natural affection.” 2 Tim. 3:1, 3.

The physical love shared by a man and a woman in the marriage arrangement is truly a gift from God. Prov. 5:15-17. However, the word eʹros, which refers to romantic love, is not used by the inspired Bible writers.

Why not?

Some years ago, the magazine The Watchtower made this comment: “Today the whole world seems to be committing the same mistake the ancient Greeks did. They worshiped Eros as a god, bowed at his altar and offered sacrifices to him.... But history shows that such worship of sexual love only brought degradation, debauchery and dissolution. Perhaps that is why the Bible writers made no use of the word.”

For us to avoid getting involved in relationships based purely on physical attraction, romantic feelings must be tempered, or controlled, by Bible principles.

So we must ask yourself, 'Are my romantic feelings balanced with true love for my companion?'

During “the bloom of youth” when sexual impulses are often very strong, young people who stick to Bible principles will remain morally clean. 1 Cor. 7:36; Col. 3:5. They will view marriage as a sacred gift from Jehovah.

Jesus said regarding married couples: “What God has yoked together let no man put apart.” Matt. 19:6. Rather than staying together only as long as there is mutual attraction, true Christians are committed to marriage. When marriage problems arise, they do not look for an easy way out but earnestly strive to display godly qualities to make family life happy. Such efforts will bring lasting happiness. Eph. 5:33; Heb. 13:4.

Lastly, life would be boring without friends. A Bible proverb says: “There exists a friend sticking closer than a brother.” Prov. 18:24. Jehovah wants us to have genuine friends. He had written for us an example of the close bond of friendship between David and Jonathan. 1 Sam. 18:1. Too, the Bible says that Jesus “had affection” for the apostle John. John 20:2. The Greek word for “affection” or “friendship” is phi·liʹa.

At 2 Peter 1:7, we are encouraged to supply love (a·gaʹpe) to our “brotherly affection” (phi·la·del·phiʹa, a compound word of phiʹlos, the Greek word for “friend,” and a·del·phosʹ, the Greek word for “brother”). In order to enjoy enduring friendships, we need to apply this counsel.

Should not we ask ourselves, ‘Are my feelings of friendship balanced with Bible principles?’

God’s Word helps us to avoid partiality in our dealings with our friends. We do not apply double standards: a relatively lenient standard for our friends and a different, stricter standard for people who are not our friends. Furthermore, we do not use flattery to make friends. Most important, applying Bible principles gives us the discernment needed to be selective in choosing friends and to avoid ‘bad associations that spoil useful habits.’ 1 Cor. 15:33.

Whew!... Did you think school was over?

Now, while this subject is extensive, do we not see the value of knowing the different types of love whether Bible readers, believers or not?

Hopefully, we will continue living to apply all of the various types of love in our lives.
In the future, we will return to the subject of love many times, just not in such a structured approach :-)

Until Tuesday, for another post from IN COMMON!